Squatting Burglars…
I mentioned a couple of posts ago the recent trend of burglars making themselves at home in the homes they are burgling. Well it appears that a few burglars have taken the next logical (?) obvious step:
Kim Ledford returned to her home after an extended absence and found a strange man in her bed and a woman wearing her clothes. Then another man walked up to question why she was in his house. – [Yahoo/AP]
Well pluck my hair and call me a mole rat! I do declare them burglers have cohones of titanium!! Now I could be wrong, but I think ’tis rare to have a burglar move into someones home, and then have the brass to grill the owner when they return home!
I mean, come on people. If you’re squatting in a home that you had to break into, you’ve gotta know it isn’t yours, and if the homeowner comes home, arguing with them isn’t exactly going to help your case. If fact in some cases it might get you shot.
In the cave I call home it would probably get them mauled to death by a bear. Or killed by a squad of highly trained, cybernetically augmented combat gophers. Ya know, I think I need more laid back friends. It’s all that freaking combat training. Gets them all wired…
Burglars move into Alabama woman’s home – [Yahoo/AP]
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Wait, so now burglars are squatting in the homes they’ve burglarized? Or they get to the house, squat in it and then get so comfy that they decide not to buglarize the house?? This is Seinfeldian. Outrageous.
I would imagine they cased the place for a while intending to burgle it, then figured, “Hey, why not just move in? I mean, the owner hasn’t come home in weeks, and it’s furnished, with clothes and everything!” Then that stupid home owner had to show up and ruin everything. It’s genius. Sheer genius I tell you.
Though I should also point out that this residential methodology has it’s merits. I mean, thats how I found my cave…