Bank
Old school robbery gone wrong…
What does a 70 year old man, a 50 year old non-working handgun, a bandanna, a grocery bag and a local bank add up to? Prison time:
Police say a 70-year-old man told them he tried to solve his financial problems with a grocery bag, bandanna and a 50-year-old handgun that doesn’t work.
Instead, Donald Cesare is in the Erie County Prison on federal bank robbery charges stemming from a holdup Thursday at the First National Bank in Millcreek Township. – [Yahoo/AP]
Now obviously, this guy was desperate. Seriously, who tries to hold up a bank with a 50 year old, non functioning firearm? But he seems like a nice guy. Probably didn’t really want to hurt anybody. Even wanted to apologize to the teller.
Pity he couldn’t figure out a better way to deal with his financial woes. If I had a broken, 50 year old hand gun, and nothing to do, I’d hold up a bingo hall. “Please put your left hand in the air, and with your right hand, slowly pass all of your bingo cards forward…” That would be totally cool…
Man, 70, charged in Pa. bank holdup – [Yahoo/AP]
Taking loans from the bank of sex…
I came across an unfortunate article not too long ago. Rather unfortunate for the subject of the article. A bank manager who just didn’t have a good head for figures. Of either the female or financial variety:
A German bank manager gave loans to a woman for sex and then embezzled thousands of euros to buy the silence of her relatives, authorities said on Thursday.
In total, the man diverted some 520,000 euros ($760,000) from clients’ accounts, of which he gave about 70,000 euros to the woman, and kept 40,000 euros for himself.
Huh? Now hold on a second. According to my rusty mathematics, there is a good 41,000 euro deficit. What gives?
The biggest chunk of the cash went to her relatives who were blackmailing the bank manager, a married man with children. The manager had himself told her cousin about the sex deal. – [Yahoo/Reuters]
OOOKKKK then. How do I put this delicately. Ah. Bad form old chap.
See, here’s the thing. Notwithstanding the obvious and heinous ethical error of using your employers funds for your personal business, if you are so hard up for a date that you are willing to engage in the solicitation of sex from a stranger, then, just off the top of my head, even I can think of a several, vastly cheaper ways for you to get what you need. Not that I have any experience in that area. *cough*
Honestly, when you are stealing more to cover your blackmail note than you are making off with yourself, or your “accomplice” (for lack of a better word) for that matter, that’s just bad business. As a bank manager, I would have expected better.
Seriously. With 520,000 euros he could have paid for a live-in sex worker for those three years… And had cash to spare. Not that I would recommend it. Or, again, that have any practical experience to offer. I’m just saying…
Oh, never mind…
Bank manager gives woman loans for sex – [Yahoo/Reuters]
Robin Hood is a freakin’ thief… Wait, What?
Today I ran into an article that didn’t make much sense to me. Not that I’m particularly hard to confuse, but I’d like to think I’m reasonably adept at understanding simple allegory. At issue today is the definition of the “Robin Hood” complex:
A former bank executive who was said to have “Robin Hood” mentality has been sentenced to 41 months in federal prison for taking money from some accounts and repaying others, as well as pocketing some of the money for himself.
A psychologist who testified at the sentencing hearing said Mariotti had a “Robin Hood” mentality because he took money from the bank to help support bad loans he had made. In one case, he paid off a $45,000 loan, said his attorney, Ron Hamm. – [Yahoo/AP]
Ah. Uh Huh. So is this how a Robin Hood complex is defined nowadays? I might be wrong, but wasn’t the primary distinguishing characteristic of Robin Hoods antics the fact that he pretty much gave everything he stole to the poor?
Now seeing as this banker executive wasn’t exactly poor, but used the money he stole to pay down his personal debts, that sound more to me like… What’s the word…? Ah, yes. Embezzlement. If course I’m no expert.
I kinda think Robin Hood would be insulted to be compared to this guy. But if a psychologist says it’s a “Robin Hood” complex, who are we lowly peasant folk to argue…
‘Robin Hood’ banker jailed for fraud – [Yahoo/AP]
The love of money is the root of all… Stupidity.
A group of Chinese bank employees tried to court Lady Luck a little bit too aggressively. And got dumped. Big time:
Five Chinese men accused of stealing 51 million yuan (6.7 million dollars) and then buying lottery tickets in an attempt to win the money back went on trial Tuesday, state media reported. …
… Ren actually replaced the missing funds after he won the lottery.
But Ren became bolder when he began collaborating with Ma, stealing another 50.95 million yuan from the bank during a 30-day period between March and April.
They spent a total of 47 million yuan on lottery tickets in Handan, but failing to win, went on the lam in mid-April, only to be arrested by police days later. – [Yahoo/AFP]
Now come on people, given the infinitesimally small percentage of people that are actually guaranteed to win the lottery, how many of you would rely on the lottery as the hinge pin of an bank embezzlement scheme? I’m not bank administrator, and I don’t even consider myself particularly good at math, but I’ve done the math on this, and though it varies from lottery to lottery, I’m pretty sure that winning the lottery purely by the buying of tickets en mass is not altogether particularly cost effective, and is certainly not guaranteed.
I guess if you aren’t using your own money, then maybe you might be a little more flippant about it, but having successfully done it once, (and reaped what I’m sure were relatively “meager” rewards) why would you take the risk of doing it a second time? Insanity? Greed? Both? I’ll admit I’m not a gambling man by any stretch of the imagination, but the practice of “Quitting while you’re ahead” is a well known concept, even to me…
Bumbling Chinese bank robbers on trial for bizzare lottery heist – [Yahoo/AFP]
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