The Colombian in the Iron Mask!

Yesterday I read an interesting article about an unemployed Colombian man who resorted to a rather unusual form of governmental protest about the plight of his family:

In Colombia, an unemployed man has sewn shut his mouth and locked himself behind an iron mask to demand the government attend to his family’s desperate economic plight. – [Yahoo/AP]

Ooookkkk….

He is demanding the government provide a loan to jump-start a cottage textile business and pay health care bills for his wife and children. Without the loan, he says his family will end up living on the streets. – [Yahoo/AP]

Hmmm. There are so many things wrong with this picture. I almost don’t know where to begin. First, which would you prefer. Your children out on the street? Or barefoot. My money says a roof over their head trumps new Nikes. Having spent a lot of time barefoot as a young ‘un, I’m fairly certain the kids would agree.

And then there is his “innovative” (for lack of a better word) method of protest. How exactly is sewing his mouth shut, then covering his face with an iron mask, and then shackling himself to his neighbors bed, supposed to be an effective protest strategy? The first rule of a successful protester: THEY HAVE TO BE ABLE TO SEE YOUR PROTEST!!

Not only did he cover his facial sewing handiwork (the only innovative part of this hare-brained scheme, imho) with an iron mask (where did he get an iron mask from anyway?), so nobody can see it, he is hiding in his neighbors house, where nobody can even see him and his iron mask. Ridiculous!

And I’m not even going to go into the kind of egocentrism that spawns this kind of protest, when other people’s kids are already out on the street. I know the squeaky wheel generally gets the grease, but please! How about coming up with a plan that everyone can benefit from, instead of disfiguring your stupid mug, which your wife and kids will have to look at for the rest of your marriage, and taking up space that your neighbor could probably use (probably for much better things).

You know, I can understand this mans desire to see his family stay off the streets. I can even understand his desire to have the government help him start a business. It’s much better than asking for a handout. But come on. While sensationalist stunts are generally a good way to get attention, I tend to think there are much better ways of doing this, and they should be used for the purpose of implementing much more universal solutions.

He gets -8 intarwebs points for lack of common sense/originality, -4 for uncompromisingly poor execution, and the journalist who picked this up gets a -10 for being stupid enough to run this, instead of airing the plight of all the other Colombian kids who are already out on the street because of unemployment. Epic Phail all around.

Unemployed Colombian dons iron mask – [Yahoo/AP]

Places that are unwise to rob. Armed or not…

I’ve probably mentioned before my theory about peoples lack of imagination causing them to do some not-so-bright things. Well, either I’m wrong, and this armed robber may actually have had a very vivid imagination, or I’m right and he just ain’t that smart:

A karate academy was not the best target for a robbery, a Colombian thief found when his attempt got the chop from practicing students, police said on Friday.

The robber was recovering in a hospital in Santander province north of Bogota after the martial artists used their combat skills and took away his gun. – [Yahoo/Reuters]

OK, so as I was saying, I can only assume this guy either “imagined” that he could walk into a karate academy and rob them at gunpoint, or wasn’t smart enough to look for an easier target. You make the call.

The wording of the article was funny though: “used thier combat skills”?? That’s putting it a little mildly isnt it? I mean, the man is recovering in a hospital ward! Sounds like he got a sound thrashing…

Gunman gets chop during karate robbery – [Yahoo/Reuters]